Friday, January 16, 2015

14 - MY SECRET



I have no light inside. It is not dead. I do not hide my sadness anymore. I don’t think I killed my light, it might have just disappeared one lonely night when I was lying next to you in bed.
.
It probably went where happiness goes. I mean that stuff just flows out like it's coming from an endless well until one day everything looks like a little slice of hell.

I thought I had more to say, but it all fell out of me one day in the shower as I was getting ready for life and thinking about day to day strife, and all the bullshit I have to put up with.

Maybe my light isn’t gone. It’s lost, or I tossed it away thinking that I wouldn’t use need it anymore. I mean, what the fuck do I use if for? I couldn’t see myself saying that way back when, but suddenly I’m so unsure again.

Well, I know the score, and I’m not sore. I’m not giving up on life, just giving up on a kind of happiness that doesn’t cut it anymore.

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