2 - IMPRESSIONS

I must confess that my desire to impress is far less potent than it once was. I used to want the world to know how amazing I was because I knew there was something inside my head that I needed to share and I wanted you to care about what I thought – how I felt and prove that even if I’d been dealt a losing hand I could still come out on top.

Now, however, I don’t care. This is just where I’m at and honestly it seems fair enough. I don’t need the validation of a single person or a nation but I wonder how I’ll find the drive to get back behind the wheel of this situation called life.

I am a Husband, Father and a Son and somewhere along the line writing stopped being what I did for fun and became a job and I’m okay with being done with the old me, mostly – but who am I now?

I keep thinking that if I stop, take a deep breath and look around it will come to me somehow, and I feel like writing about it will help me sort it all out.

I know that there are words left in me, thoughts I want to see on the page. They aren’t stories or tales of glory but ideas that reside inside my mind at 6:55 A.M. on a Saturday morning when I can’t sleep.

Life has a different meaning than it did when I was young and I harbor the hope that in 2 more years when I’m 41, I’ll have it all figured out, but I don’t want to wait so I’ll just shout out loud today – “This is what life is all about! This is the here and now and it is beautiful…”